People are amazing

I have endured my sister's murder and, indeed, co-written and am performing a show about it. If I can keep my head to do that why does not being able to print the four-star review of our show to attach to our flyers (did I mention they DID arrive in the end?) bring me to within inches of actual jibbering? It's a bit of a saga, spanning a day or so, but the culmination was me in a copy shop being told by the guy with the computer and the power to print the stars, and the review excerpt, that my USB has a virus.

I left. I called Martin: “My USB has a virus. I'm going for a cry. See you later.” (Martin was delighted that his stick was not infected – he has enough health problems already). I went in search of a cafe for my scheduled cry and some tea. Whyohwhyohwhy was I so upset? I was, of course, being melodramatic about the tears. I had already done my make-up for the show and there was no way I was going to get to cry without ruining my beautiful aspect. Of course I did not have my make-up with me. Only women who wear make-up have it with them. Idiot. I was not being melodramatic about the emotion, though, I really did feel the sky was going to fall in.

Just off the Royal Mile I found a nice place and got my tea... when in walked the lovely Zoe. I don't know her very well, but she's a friend of many of my friends and I had to try to put a brave face on my petulance. We saw Zoe a few days ago and she was not at all well. I was very pleased to see her looking much better. She's doing a show at the Free Fringe, and we got talking about that and other things. We talked about reviews – I said we'd had two lots of four stars already. She seemed so genuinely pleased for me, it was lovely. I could see her point – some fantastic reviews a few days into this festival – we are so lucky.

I went off to do the show and, well, what an audience. Theatre school children, who were fanstastic: attentive, respectful. I wanted to talk to them afterwards but I was talking to a woman who is a translator. She was upset – she knows many translators who are from all over the world some of whom have been put in very frightening situations, who are traumatised by pressure resulting from their involvement with news networks. She became tearful. We had a hug. Really, that's all I have to offer, if that, and there we were talking about these incredible people whose extraordinary lives I cannot even imagine.


What a privilege it is to perform this show of ours. It is quite a story, but the stories others bring are humbling. And I am reminded time after time after time that I am only here at all because of the wonderful people I have had around me not only since Kate died but my whole life... and still they keep coming.